Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
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woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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