dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
