I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
