she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize