I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize