And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
