You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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