His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
should my penis look like a turkey
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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