so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
