Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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