Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize