You just made me feel so damn special
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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