then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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