you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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