how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
