All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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