You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
