oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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