Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
