you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize