He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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