In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
