good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize