Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
