apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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