Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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