Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
