My liver just broke up with me...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize