I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
