census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This is my gift to your gina
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
