Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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