I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
