Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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