I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
