Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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