we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
