dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
