"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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