my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
