garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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