Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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