Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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