How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
