Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
