he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
3pm strippers are depressing
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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