Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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