If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
