I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
