Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
