And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
