The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And then my night got REAL pukey
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
