chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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