i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
