A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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