You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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