Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
