Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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