I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize