I don't think brook has ever known best
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
