I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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