I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
So. Much. Porn.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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