i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
