I want to stick my p in your. b.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
