Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
