Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
