Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
