Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
