the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
