Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
