I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
